What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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