Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
