Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
