i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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