The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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