Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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