Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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