so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
