I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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