this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
