What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
