Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
