There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I need to align my fucking chakras
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
