areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Your penis caused this!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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