Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
