would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
