I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
