I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
