So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
