just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
