You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
