okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize