chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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