I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
