Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
