Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize