thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
