People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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