just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
