Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize