is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
