Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
