You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Text me some of your sweat
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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