Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
