how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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