Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
