My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
