i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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