Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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