It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
