do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Barsexuality is the new black.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
