You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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