I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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