Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
