Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Randomize
