Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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