Your face is a jimmy john
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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