Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
