Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
