WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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