You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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