i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
