Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
