On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
