Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
