Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
