I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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